


Love's Not Time's Fool Part II Ch.2

by kinfic2



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-15
Updated: 2014-02-15
Packaged: 2018-01-12 13:54:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1187745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinfic2/pseuds/kinfic2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"These are the times that try men's souls."<br/>One year post 513</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love's Not Time's Fool Part II Ch.2

                                                     

_                                                 “If you are keeping score then you are bound to win a ring side seat at the main event.” _ _ ©Fair to Midland _

          “What the fuck are you talking about?” Whirling in a snow globe of confusion, Justin didn’t know what to say. Was this a trick question? Under the best of circumstances, anything was possible with this exasperating man. Now? One wrong word could send them spiraling down to a point of no return. _  
_

Brian bulled into his personal space, his head angled so their faces were mere inches apart. “You heard me.”  
  
          The closeness had no effect on him. None. Not a bit. He hardly noticed the spicy cologne that filled his nose with every inhale and the bead of sweat that had taken up residence on his upper lip. Nope. No effect at all.  
  
         “Is this so fucking hard?” Brian asked in a steely voice. “I’ll make it simple for you. If you didn’t want to go, you wouldn’t have. I get you, too, Sunshine. You never do anything unless you want to.” As the silence dragged on, he hummed the _Jeopardy_ theme song.  
  
         “No, it’s—” Justin shifted in his chair. The alcohol-filtered breath, the nearness, the _heat_ muddled his concentration. He gave up trying to convince himself he wasn’t affected. Brian should have been a Borg. Resistance is futile. He stifled a hysterical giggle. “I’m just...”  
  
         “What?”  
  
         “I’m trying to figure out how to answer you.”  
  
         “Better. Let me know when you do. I have all night.”  
  
         “Maybe I don’t,” he shot back.  
  
         “Up to you.” The indifference was the lightning rod to sway the balance of power.  
  
          Bottled-up hurt erupted like lava from a spewing volcano. “You want to know why? You want to fucking know why? Look in the mirror, Mr. Kinney!”  
  
          Brian gave a mirthless chuckle. “Oh, no. You’re not going to pin everything on me. Just answer the question. Why did you leave? I know my part in this but what’s yours?”  
  
         “Shut up, Brian! Shut the fuck up!” His strident voice carried over the music and the chatter. He didn't care that people halted conversations and threw furtive looks at them. “Do you realize how much you screwed things up? You think you’re so fucking smart?”  
  
         “Except for a relatively short span of about the past six years, I’ve always been smart.”  
  
          He crackled with sulphurous rage at the glib comment. Fists clenched, he struggled not to launch himself across the table and pummel him. “Fuck you! Take your smart ass comments and shove them up your not-so-smart ass!”                

_“No one knows what it’s like to feel these feelings like I do. And I blame you.”_ _©P.Townshend_

          The verbal slap in the face unleashed a volley of golden daggers. “Fuck yourself! Stop asking me fucking stupid questions!”  
  
         “You’re out of your goddamned mind!” He downed the rest of his beer in furious gulps, coughing when the liquid caught in his throat. In one explosive move, he jumped up and shoved his chair against the wall. Still sputtering, he whipped his jacket off the back. “Fuck it! I’m leaving!”

                                                                                            * * *  
  
          Brian hadn’t traveled to New York to go home without a resolution, to let him walk away. He had to rearrange the marbles in the blond head.  With the situation slipping from his grasp, he took a firm hold of the reins. Desperate times, desperate measures. He clamped a hand on his wrist. “Running away again? Is it easier to play the injured damsel when you can blame someone else? Easier to forget?”  
  
         “Forget?” Justin yanked his arm free. He slapped his palms down with enough force to rock the table and jiggle the glasses. "Forget?  What the fuck do you think I’ve been trying to do these past few months, you bastard!”   
  
          The waitress’s shrill command saved them from round two. “That’s it!”  
  
          They gaped in astonishment. While Justin gave a sheepish 'sorry,' he opted for a curt 'we’ll hold it down.'  
  
        “Damn right you will! Keep it up and you’re out of here!” She pointed toward the door for emphasis and stomped away, muttering about customers who couldn’t hold their liquor.  
  
        “You are _not_ leaving!”  
  
        “Watch me!”  
  
        “Sit the fuck down!”  
  
        “Or what?” Justin challenged. “You’ll chain me to the chair?”  
  
          He couldn't hold back a wisecrack. “As enticing as that sounds, no.”  
  
          Their stand-off went on until he said the magic word, the one they knew would produce results. “Please?”  
  
          Mumbled expletives spewing from his lips, Justin sank into his chair and crossed his arms in a huff. “You have a bad attitude.”  
  
          Well aware he had dodged another bullet, Brian’s relieved grin could have charmed the horns off the devil. “I know. But it’s the only one I’ve got.”   
  
          Now that he needed her, their referee was nowhere to be found. “I think we chased the warden away.” He flagged a waiter and ordered a double Beam and two shots of tequila. “If we’re going to do this, we need something stronger.”  
  
         “Hey, whatever gets you through the night.” Justin rushed to continue, as if the words would disappear if he didn't let them out. “I left because I was fucking scared. You changed so much in a short amount of time. Because of me. I didn’t recognize you. I was sleeping with a stranger whose name happened to be Brian. And _I_ did that to you.” He downed the first salt-rimmed glass with a grimace. “I couldn’t live with myself knowing what I’d done, and I couldn’t let you live that way either. Because that _is_ sacrifice. So that Brian had to go. If he didn’t, he’d destroy us both. And the only way for him to go was for me to go, also.”

           He bit into a wedge of lime, sucked the fleshy fruit, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Yeah, I really did want to try New York. With everyone telling me I was wasting my talent in the Pitts, I had to find out for myself. But there was another reason.” He toyed with his empty glass. “Until I was seventeen, my memories were mostly about my family. After that, they were with you or about you. I had none of my own because I hadn’t become anyone yet. I needed to stand on my own two feet.” His speech slowed and the pauses between words lengthened. “I had to make a life without any help, one that revolved around me, not someone else.”   
  
           C'mon, Sonny Boy. You can do it.  
  
         “How could I expect anyone to—”  
  
          Willing him to put the pieces of the puzzle together, he studied Justin's face as he traveled the same road of discovery he had taken over a year ago.  
  
         “You fucking son-of-a-bitch.”  
  
**It’s not about becoming a new person, but becoming the person you were meant to be, and already are, but don’t know how to be.** _H.Buckmaster_  


**Continue here:** <http://archiveofourown.org/works/1319641>


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